Giving a GREAT blow job doesn’t have to be intimidating. In fact, it can be incredibly sexy and enjoyable to give, not just receive. I’m going to give you a few tips to make blow jobs approachable, sexy, and fun. Let’s go!
INTENT- If you take nothing else away from this post, take this. Intent is sexy. In fact, intent is hotter than any lingerie, perfect body, toy or sex position could ever be. People want to be wanted. Even if blow jobs have never been “your thing,” remember, your partner doesn’t want to have to coerce you into giving head. You can reverse the roles and imagine if you always had to ask your partner to go down on you. If they never seemed to actually want to do it on their own, this wouldn’t feel great. And even if you’re not very confident or you feel like you fumble around a bit, THAT’S OK! it’s your intent that matters! If you tell your man that you can’t wait to suck his dick, he is going to be turned on. If you lean on his leg with your pointy elbow and sign in between licks, he’s going to know you’re not into it. And that can really kill the vibe (and worse, his self esteem). So show him you want it and he’s going to love it. Scouts honor.
MIND GAME- A blow job is a mind game first. Getting your dick sucked is great. But if you want him to really blow his load, blow his mind first. You have the opportunity to really build the sexual tension. And that always makes things more satisfying. Here are some ideas!
DELAYED GRATIFICATION: Out to dinner, at Thanksgiving with family, In the movie theatre with friends…these are great places to text your partner or whisper in his ear how much you’re thinking about sucking his dick . “I’m so horny right now. I’ve been thinking about sucking your dick. I can’t wait till we get out of here.” Your partner won’t be able to think about anything else yet you can’t really do anything about it for a while. This hits on both delayed gratification AND being desired.
SURPRISE ATTACK: Guys love a sexy surprise. You could be waiting for him naked when he walks in the door. You could shove him onto the bed and tell him you’re horny, you could put your hand on his dick while he’s driving. What matters is that you want it and you want it now.
SLOW BURN: An amazing blow job can start hours before it actually happens. 10 am text: “Tonight I’m going to suck your cock and I can’t wait.” By 10:01 he’s horny and cant think about anything else. You can keep the texts up throughout the day. If you’re comfortable, send a sexy photo. What matters is that you’re teasing and building excitement and anticipation all day long. By the time you actually unzip his pants, he will be well on his way. Important point!! DO NOT FORGET YOU’VE SAID THIS BECAUSE HE WON’T! 8 hours later, you might be tired but he won’t have forgotten. He might not ask for it, as that can take the sexiness out of it. But like a 5 year old, if you casually say “we’ll get ice cream this weekend”….they are NOT going to forget. So if you build it up, be cool and follow through.
Get CLEAN- If you are extra sensitive about cleanliness, run a bubble bath or take a sexy shower together first. It’s sexy, it’s sudsy, and you can be sure everything is going to be as fresh as a daisy. But PLEASE WATCH YOUR WORDS AND TONE! Making “ew” faces, telling your partner that you won’t “go there” until they shower….it just hurts feelings. Just imagine what would feel nice or hurtful to you. And treat your partner with 20% more care and caution than that. “Hey baby, lets have a bubble bath together” is WAY sexier than “did you just run a marathon, because your balls smell like gym socks.”
GET THE WHOLE BODY INVOLVED- Like anything sexual, proper foreplay is needed. You don’t always need to just rip off the pants and stick his dick in your mouth (although that can be fun). Run your hands over his dick while he’s still clothed or in underwear. Take time to take off his shirt and pants. Use this time to flirt and play. Play with his nipples, ears, skin with your mouth and nails. Kiss down his stomach, slowly inching toward his genitals. Get him heated up and make him wait a little.
MAKE OUT- I like to think of oral sex less as “dick sucking” and more of a make-out session. This also makes it less intimidating. You’re just making out with his penis! :) And the best kisses are passionate and sensual, right? So use that same mindset when thinking about giving head. You’re not there to suck like a hoover. You can lick, fondle, kiss, and enjoy his dick. A guy wants to feel like you LOVE his dick. So make love to it. You don’t have to have magic moves, but if you slow down and enjoy it, so will he.
GO BEYOND THE SHAFT- Balls, perineum, inside of the thighs- these are all erogenous zones and they want some love, too. Stroking the area between the balls and the anus (it’s like a little landing strip) adds a little something different. Licking or gently fondling his balls, and kissing and licking the inside of his thighs are all going to add some additional sensual sensations. With permission, you might find that he would like your finger to slide a little further back. There are so many nerve endings on the anus that it can open a whole new world to you both. Even just resting your finger on his butthole can be an exciting addition to the blow job.
ASK QUESTIONS- What I like about this is that it’s educational, super helpful and sexy at the same time. A lot of people struggle with how to “dirty talk” but I always tell them, just ask questions! “do you like this?” “Do you like this better like this or that?” Sex isn’t a performance. It’s an intimate exchange. So find out what your partner likes. Yes or No questions can make it easy on both of you. Also pay attention to sounds. If you hear a moan, do more of that! If you aren’t sure, ask. He will appreciate. Your past boyfriend might have loved the pepper grinder technique but your current one might like something more along the lines of the ketchup bottle technique. Like a clit, no two dicks are exactly the same. And feel free to ask questions after, If you’re comfortable. Communication is key and he will likely love being a sexual lab rat. So go ahead and ask him if he wouldn’t mind if you tested out some new techniques on him :) You know, for research.
USE YOUR HANDS! Listen, an occasional hand free deep throat is a cool trick and if you can do it, go you! But it’s not necessary. In fact, your hands can enhance pleasure greatly. So go ahead and use them. You can use your hand to move up and down on the shaft while your mouth and tongue play with the head. You can give a firm grip or a looser one….ask! “do you like it more like this or this?” Experiment! Point is, you don’t have to gag on his dick like a porn star to give amazing head.
GET IT WET- Drink water before you start. Keep some water next to you if you need a swig. If you feel like you can’t make enough saliva to lubricate it well, you can use lube! There are plenty of lubes that you can lick and kiss. If you are concerned about the taste of his cum, then you can use a flavored lube and this will mask a lot of the taste (although many people don’t mind the taste at all). But you want to be nicely lubricated so there’s no unwanted pulling or chafing.
CUM- Some people love to swallow and some don’t. I get it. But like your own cum, it’s natural and nothing to be grossed out by. If you don’t want to swallow, consider asking your partner to cum on you. “Hey baby, I’d love for you to cum all over my tits at the end.” He’ll still feel valued and desired and it’s playful and sexy. But of course, you can also used a flavored lube, as I mentioned above. Or you can also do this little trick. At the moment that he is going to cum, slide his dick a little deeper into your mouth and relax. Nothing crazy, but that little movement will send the cum right down your throat and you won’t taste a thing. Or if you like cum, just let it happen however you want. In your mouth, on your face, on your tits. You get the picture. The key point here is yes, cum can be a little bitter or salty but so can you! So whatever you do, do it with care and tact. If you don’t want to swallow, don’t make him feel bad about it. Come up with some sexy alternatives.
WATCH HIM MASTURBATE - I always suggest that couples watch each other masturbate. It’s an amazing learning tool! If you watch him masturbate, you can learn how firmly he grips, how fast he moves, how he starts and finishes. This will help you learn his formula and make you a better lover.
Now get out there and suck some dick! ;)
